Today, notes Berit, card stores and gift shops are "chock full of Over-the-Hill dreck" that drapes
mournful black crepe over milestone birthdays as early as 30. Similarly, "mid-life crisis" has
become an accepted rite of Boomer passage that often crops up around Berit's age, in the early 40s.
"Meanwhile," she smiles, "some of the same leading-edge Boomers who once lied about their age to
buy a six-pack of beer are now trying to fudge it the other way to qualify for the senior discount
at Denny's. Is that nuts, or what?"
Berit's solution? Forget age. Focus on smarts.
"Our generation - and rightfully so, I think - once was adamant in rejecting the idea that age and
wisdom were necessarily related," she offers. "So I tell people, 'Act Your Smarts.' Forget about
how old you are. Don't get caught up in the stupid clichés, like all that over-the-hill nonsense.
Think about everything you've learned through everything you've done, and then use that experience
instead of apologizing for it."
For Berit, walking her own talk has led to both personal and professional changes. Several years
ago, she and her husband and business partner, Eric Ramlo, moved back to Minnesota from Denver, CO,
to help provide care to family members: first, Berit's mother, later her paternal grandfather.
Both are since deceased, but the family-based transition changed Berit's business profile as well.
"I used to work primarily with seniors," she points out, including helping them make use of
longtime mentor Marge Engleman's Mental Fitness Program (also published by Attainment Company, and for
which she developed the Instructor's guide). "More and more, I now find myself speaking to Boomers
- sometimes in programs where both parents and their adult children are in the audience together."
In 2006, that transition, in turn, inspired her to write The Unexpected Caregiver.
"I wrote the Active Seniors column for Creative Forecasting magazine for five years,"
she explains. "Mostly, I explored ideas that could be used by activity directors in senior
communities, which is something I know about firsthand because I've worked as an assisted-living manager and
activity director."
"We started to notice that, with just a little tweaking, the same ideas that the professionals use
on a community level also can work for Boomers providing care to their parents, most of whom are
still living independently in their own homes."
The Unexpected Caregiver shows Boomers how to engage their parents on multiple levels:
physically, mentally and emotionally. It explores the awkwardness many new caregivers experience as
they try to reconnect lines of communication that may have been badly frayed during their turbulent
younger years. It also takes on delicate, age-sensitive issues, from end-of-life planning with
parents to resolving time-encrusted rivalries with siblings.
All of which comes back full circle to taking a more forthright approach to the age of the Boomer
they see in the mirror every morning.
"I'm 43," Berit shrugs. "I'm not going to pretend to be 39 for the fourth time again. Why should
I? I'm smarter now than I was then. I'll be smarter at 53 than I am now. If that knowledge and
experience can help my dad, or Eric's mom, or the people I talk to in seminars and keynotes, why would
I not want to assert it?
"The only alternative to getting older is getting dead. I'd rather act my smarts - as
age-assertively as possible - than not have the option to act at all. Who wouldn't?"
The Unexpected Caregiver: How Boomers Can Keep Mom & Dad Active, Safe and Independent (ISBN
1-57861-606-9) is available in trade paperback from Attainment Company, Verona, WI
(www.AttainmentCompany.com or 800/327-4268), and Kari Berit Presents, Red Wing, MN
(www.KariBerit.com); cover
price is $19 (US). For quantity discounts, business, religious, senior and nonprofit groups can
contact Kari Berit Presents. << Back
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